My 2013 Rollercoaster of a Year in Review

Another year is ending. Another year beginning with so many changes coming with it. Looking back & ahead:
2013
At the beginning of the year, we were still settling in to our new town. I still was wanting to conceive a second child, which seemed impossible. I was sad at every start of my period. My husband, of course, was telling me to put it in God's hands.
As the year progressed, I came to terms with not getting pregnant & decided to focus on getting healthy. I lost at least 10 pounds (I rarely step on scales). I begin to consistently pray for God's will in my life rather than praying for what I wanted. I signed my little girl up for public kindergarten, something I never imagined doing. (She loves it)
And then I decided I wanted a change. I went back to school for accounting - something else I never imagined doing, and I begin to think about getting my tubes tied... God had different plans!
Finding out I was pregnant came with a mix of emotions because I felt I had just accepted after all these years & moved on. It only took a few days before I was in a better state of mind. I had prayed for God's will, & this is i Everything is on His time & not mine & I have to accept that! So I started my new classes with extreme morning sickness & fatigue, but I made it thru my semester & signed up for more.
I don't know how long this new degree will take now that I am once again going to be in college with a baby, but it will be worth it to finally get a career I want.
2014
The year starts off with my ultrasound on the 9th. Can't wait for that! I will start my second semester of accounting that week as well & MaKenzie goes back to school. So that will be a busy week.
I have so much preparation for the baby to do. I don't want to procrastinate. I always do that, but I feel like if I do that then my schooling will suffer. So, I will have my crib set up & all the supplies bought with plenty of time to spare--I hope.
Welcoming a new baby in time for MaKenzie's summer vacation will give her plenty of time to bond with the baby. It will also mean no lugging a new born for pick up & drop offs. For that, I am grateful!
I really don't know what to expect of this year. Life with 2 kids and not living near family intimidates me a bit, I can't lie. All I can do is continue to pray for God's will & ask Him to guide me on this journey.
So.
Happy New Year & God bless. May this year bring you all you many more happy memories.

After admitting I needed help with the nausea and spending Christmas in the hospital, I think I am finally getting better. Today was my first day without the nausea. No home remedies or RX meds! Praying it keeps getting better on its own!!
That was officially the worst Christmas ever.
I can't wait for my ultrasound on the 9th! Feeling the baby move (& it moves constantly) has made it a reality that this is happening. I am going to be a mommy of 2 soon!
MaKenzie is still super excited & still telling everyone it is a girl. I decided to let her come along for the ultrasound. I will have to get her from school about an hour early, but I think it will be worth it for her to share that memory......& if it is a boy, the Dr will be the 1 breaking her heart with the news--not mommy! Lol.

Pregnancy Dreams

OK...so everyone knows pregnant ladies have the craziest dreams ever & I just had a strange one!
I honestly just dreamed I was being eaten. By a person...
In it, I was sleeping & woke up to some crazy person chewing on me. I managed to break free & run to my husband & wake him up. He punches the guy & the crazy person runs off.

Yeah. So strange that I googled the whole "meaning if a dream" thing. Turns out, to dream about being eaten by a cannibal means that something in your life is draining your energy..or something to that degree.
Hmm...I have a feeling it could be that I am 17 weeks pregnant with this constant sickness. That is TOTALLY draining!
I dunno if I would rather deal with the insomnia or the weird dreams at this point if they are getting this off the wall.

Pregnancy Update

I went to the doctor & found out that I am only 6 weeks along. However, there was a heartbeat, which was a big sigh of relief since I had some bleeding.
They printed out a pic of my lil piece of rice. Lol. My daughter seen it & was like "Cool. My sister!" Technically, it isn't a girl or boy yet I suppose, but I know what she is hoping for!

Yesterday was my first day feeling pregnant. Nausea and committing are not fun! But totally worth it in the end. And what a long way to go.

2 Pink Lines

Quick Update

So still no monthly friend today.

I went to see Brandon at work and took him lunch. We discussed the "what if" scenario.

Turns out, he has names picked out! I was really surprised. Back when I had full blown baby fever, he was not feeling it as much. So it made me feel better. I had already come to embrace the idea. However, hearing he had names picked (and cute ones at that) made me kind of want it to be true. So now, I am trying not to get my hopes up, but I guess they already are a little bit. I mean, I left there and went to buy tests... We'll see in the morning!
Either way we will be okay. We are blessed with an adorable, happy, and healthy ( gunk is FINALLY gone) little girl. So if it is negative, and I feel it will be, we won't cry over it. It is what it is. 
God's will be done. He has a plan. Will it involve another baby? Hmmm..

Babies Are Coming!

Sooo. What I learned this weekend is:

babies are popping up everywhere.

I already knew 2 people at Brandon's work place have their SO knocked up. One being his best friend & our neighbor.

However, now I find that he has 2 cousins that are also pregnant. One is having twins & the other is pregnant with her fourth! 

Also I have a pregnant cousin. So like I said.

Babies. Are. Coming.

So as Brandon & I sit down to watch TV, every commercial is about baby things. Pregnancy test, stretch mark cream, diapers. You name it, we seen it. So he looks over at me and says, "Take a hint."

:0

What?!? Why would he say that?!?

And now... I am 3 days late...

Wouldn't that be crazy? To finally accept that it is not meant to be and then poof. We tried so long. I just got over baby fever and moved on. 

Heh.

Another day in paradise

September 1.

Happy Anniversary to us!  6 years & counting :)

Unfortunately, I am so under the weather, I could not even imagine trying to go out. It's OK though. We spent all night last night with me bundled up on the coach with a Netflix marathon.
 Ya have to cherish things you may otherwise take for granted. Especially when those memories being made are with the ones you love most.

Of course, as I mentioned last year, this was my brother's birthday. I wonder if my anniversary will always be bittersweet now.
He was a great guy. He had his problems. If anyone knew what he lived, they'd wonder how he didn't have more. I miss him & remind myself he is in a better place.

Losing a loved one is never easy. And when it feels like that person was ripped away too soon--before they reached their full potential-it sucks that much worse.

We go about life never knowing or understanding God's plan but we must know & understand that God has a plan for us all. More importantly, we must trust Him fully, put our lives in His hands daily, and love unconditionally.

 You never know what tomorrow will bring.

My cold medicine is starting to set in. It contained alcohol and amazingly, I can't handle it. Though I used to handle alcohol like it was water, I haven't drank in 6 years!
Thank God for sending my husband to help support me in my struggle & allow us to fall head over heels in the process!

Sickly Status Update

No sleep for the worried momma. Figured I' blog about it to vent.

So the doctor visit Wednesday took 5 minutes. Doctor listened to her chest and said all clear. She did prescribe Mucinex, which caused MaKenzie to start having coughing. It was productive so I thought it was a good thing.
Now her snot has turned yellow & she has a fever again.
Why has no one checked her or ran tests on her for anything? The doctor seemed as baffled as I was yet could only give me guesses. I am not paying for "probably" this or that. Google is great for that. I want a diagnosis dang it! Tell me what she has & how to make it better!!!
Right now, she is sleeping better than she has in a while. Slight comfort coming to me seeing her sleep peacefully.

ER Visit

Last night was scary bad.
MaKenzie woke up not being able to breathe. She couldn't talk & was drooling from not swallowing saliva.
I needed a doctor!
 But, wait. It's midnight. Where on earth do I go? An experienced mover & relocater would have had the place scoped out. Or saved to the GPS. Not me.. I froze trying to find the address to put it in. My husband, thank God, was home & knocked on his friend's door to ask. He said, "let me just ride with you." And so he did, which was great because the hospital here is in a weird spot.
True friends go with their friends to the ER when a child is sick. ;) So thankful he is our neighbor.
Anyway, by the top we got there she was almost normal. By the time she seen the respiratory therapist, she looked like nothing had ever happened. Her lungs & chest were fine. No fever.
Another doctor came in to check throat, nose, and ears. Fine.
What in the world. I was having a heart attack over nothing. But it sure as heck seemed like something at that time so, no regrets.
Just more doctor bills. Worth it for the peace of mind though.
Until...
5 am rolls around & same exact thing happens. This time she recovered a lot faster.
Plopped her up on the couch. Turned on Avengers on Netflix. She was back out before an episode ended.
She has an appointment with a pediatrician @ 4. Probably won't find out what caused it but prevention tips would be nice. Anything to help her get better is worth it.
The thing worse than seeing your child suffer is being helpless to stop it.
That's what I feel right now. Praying for good news & a healthy child.

MaKenzie's first day of kindergarten

                      August 1, 2013

MaKenzie had been sick all weekend long. Not miserable enough to stay in bed & do nothing. She has been active and perfectly normal, but she has had a fever so she can't really enjoy her weekend off.
It baffled me why she would get a fever spike with no symptoms. Then I got concerned and called the after hours nurse. She asked questions and said everything seemed fine & that if it didn't clear up in 3 days to take her to the hospital.
As much as she made me feel better, I still have no clue why my baby is sick & that drives me crazy! I keep checking on her to make sure she has drink or isn't too hot/cold, isn't hurting, or developed some new symptom. All I keep getting is, "I'm fine, Momma!" She is annoyed by me helicoptering her because she is used to having a sense of independence.  I just really don't like her being sick and not being able to cure her.
I will keep her home from school, which she will not like, to monitor her on whether or not to take her to the doctor.
Praying my daughter gets better.
 XOXO

I got more work done than I thought I was going to, but far less than I should have. There's always tomorrow to finish working.
BooBoo got in the car sad after school & proceeded to tell us how she got in trouble & why. Which made us both outright blistering angry--She asked to go potty during class...
How in God's green earth can you punish her & take time off her recess for needing to use the restroom? I feel like to punish 5 year olds for asking to go is setting them up for trying to  'hold it' so as not to get time off their recess & will set them up for having an accident.
I am really unsure what to do here. I have already gone up there once about another situation. I don't want to be the b----y mom but I may end up being exactly that.
I haven' t liked the school since I met a woman whose child had autism and the school told her she didn't discipline her enough? Wth. I am sure the lady needs support not being knocked down by ignorant people. That statement was something like a total stranger would make after seeing a child throw a fit & not know the child was diagnosed or even what that meant for the child/parent. I am no expert in the subject of kids with disorders (behavioral or otherwise) but I am sure it is tough on them both & they have to deal with judgement on a constant basis because people are idiots.
Idiots of this world amaze me.
Back to the point, I hated my child's school from the first meet & greet. Yet, what could I do but send her? Home school was an option, but, as an only child, she was ready for some consistent children interaction. I told myself  it is just kindergarten & wouldn't be a big deal. I am thinking now I was wrong. All other school's in the district are full & I don't want to home school for the same reason I sent her (kids). I also don't want to  deal with drama that is unfolding if the teacher keeps picking on my child.
Ugh. Idiots.

Looking like another day with no work done. I cannot focus to save my life.

It's my hubby's day off & he is sleeping in. A large part of me is fighting off the urge to go snuggle up in bed with him.
Another part of me is fighting the urge to post puppy for sale signs.
And the rest of me just is not interested in assets & liabilities today.

Scatter brained and accounting don't mix.

Today was looong. I am so glad it is almost over.

Not that this mostly stay-at-home mom can really complain too much, but I have been in constant & continuous pain the whole darn day. I am used to it to some degree from the daily pain from my botched & horrific c-section 5 years ago. But. Today was just brutal. I hate days like this where I can't even walk without doubling over every 2 seconds.
On top my usual, I have some time of vertigo or something going on. Every time I move my head I am overwhelmed with a wave of dizziness... dealing with all this while TRYING to write  out financial statements was not happening. Oh, and dealing with a whiny puppy (I am sooo over him).
Yeah. Zero work done today.

When I got my mail, I opened a bill for $800 from the pediatric office. Shots. My insurance refused vaccination costs? I understand them not paying bogus fees like $150 new patient fees and data input fees. But shots?!!
So I spent an hour outside the elementary school on hold to try to figure that mess out. As soon as I am connected to someone my child gets in the car sobbing to the point I cannot hear the person on the other end. Apparently she got in trouble for not coming off the playground when the teacher called her & thought she would be in serious trouble. So after calming her down & assuring her all is well, I finally get to discuss the issue.
Somehow they had her having another insurance. They changed the error in their system & the claim will run again. Praying that was the problem & that price will come  down. If not, well let's not go there..

Almost a year since any postings & a lot has happened in that time.

Moving to be closer to Brandon's workplace was a big change. We both lived in a small town our entire lives so I don't think either of us knew what to expect. We do love it here though, and somehow it still feels like a small town but with so much more to do & easy access to I-75.

MaKenzie turned 5!! She also started kindergarten!! Another prime example of how "they grow up too fast" I suppose.

We have a new addition to the family. No. No babies here.... MaKenzie wanted a puppy for her day, and her daddy spoils her rotten so we drove 2 hours to pick her out a German Shepherd. Most annoying hyperactive dog ever! Hoping he calms as he ages.

Gannicus